are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
