Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
