Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
