4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
