I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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