no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize