Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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