i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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