I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
