this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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