am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
