You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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