Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
