...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it hurts more in the daytime
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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