She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
