We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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