Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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