I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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