But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is it penis luge time yet?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
