Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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