i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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