I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize