I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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