we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
