what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
