Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
