so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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