lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
