I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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