found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
