everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
