You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
