I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
