Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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