She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize