at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
