11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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