i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
