For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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