The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
