I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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