im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Still dying that you shit outside
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
