We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
