You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize