watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
