I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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