pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
