i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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