I can't watch pbs sober anymore
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
