Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize