Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
