its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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