Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize