i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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