They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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