worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
