dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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