And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
