I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
