So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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