did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
