When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will pee on everything he values.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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