If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
