when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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