I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
