Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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