ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've blown a few things in my day
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
