yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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