guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
