Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
