Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize