I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
